Mothers day

Good morning Love Muffin. What a beautiful day! The sun is shining. There is music playing... "Guiding Light" by Tony Grey. I heard my Mommy's voice this morning. I heard Grandma's voice this morning. Debbie's voice. Zikia's voice. Brittney's voice. Raquel's. Dylan's. But not yours. Not yet. You stayed with your uncle last night to give me the morning off. Feels good. I miss you babe but I need my downtime. I am learning that mommies have to take care of themselves. We always put people in front of ourselves. I see it all the time. I don’t know a single selfish person that is a mom. They always give the last piece. They usually make compromises. They are hospitable and graceful. Hm, I’m going to read in my bible about mothers. I want to see how god feels about them. If he fashioned us to be a specific way. *"guy Lafleur' by Steve Khan"* philoteknos Greek word referencing mothers loving their children.. A special kind of 'mother love' I'd like to give a shout out to my kid. Without her, I wouldn’t be a mother. Without her, I wouldn’t even be here. God fashioned this amazing little creation... this amazing little creation... just for me. He designed her with such amazing depth and intricateness. He designed her to be the antidote to life. My remedy. He knows all my weaknesses. She draws them out of me. She builds me. The pressure strengthens me. He knows all the things I love. I find them all in her. All the hope I need. My life has been blessed every since she has been a part of it. Peace. You are the most amazing kid I know! Man. I know every mom must say that but dang girl! You got my heart. Thank you for being so patient with me. These past years have been so phenomenal. Talk about growth! I remember praying for God to enlarge my territory. I had nothing, Baby. Not a single thing. Not a job. Car. Place of my own. Not a love. Not a desire or a passion. Not a care. Not shit. Then, God gave me you! I asked Him for peace. My life freaking sucked and I was over it. I asked for peace and He gave me you. Peace. That’s why your name is Peace. Jaiden means God has heard. Peace Jaiden. I dreamed you up. Man. I really did. You are so perfect for me. I strive to be perfect for you. Realistically, I’ll never be anyone’s perfect. Or, maybe I am your perfect. I didn’t ever believe there could be anyone perfect for anyone else. After becoming your Mommy, I realized my mommy is the perfect mom for me and you are the perfect daughter for me. You are my flower. My beautiful, sweet, tender gift from Father. I admire your resilience and your grace. I bask in your radiance. For you shine like the sun. I watch you sleep. You look like what I would imagine an angel looks like. You light up my life Peace! I swear, my endorphins go nuts when I hear you laugh! Silliest little monkey I know! You give me life force every day. You are so mutable and fluid. As long as you're with Mommy. Never lose that babylove. Be flexible. Move when God says go. He'll bless you for your obedience. Be obedient despite our discomfort. See what kinds of things happen for you... then you become brave. You are electric! Your energy Peace, it is invigorating! I love your hair. I love your adorable smile. Your pretty little teeth and your broad little feet. I can’t name all the things I love about you. I love your free spirit. I love your freedom. I love your braveness. You inspire me to be brave. You keep my feet off the ground little one. You keep me floating. I love your wildness and your independence. I smile because I know you will always be alright, no matter what. I believe in you and in your future. You are a strong one. A special one. God made you different and made me your steward so I could raise you different. The vision he gave me of you... you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. It hard for me to believe the being you were created to be came from my womb. Me. You give me hope Pequina. And strength. And honor. I love your wild beauty. I love you. Thank you. Love, Momma.